Had a fun evening at the club last night playing Wings of War (the original version, not the unfortunately acronymed Wings of Glory – seriously, did no-one there spot that their TLA is an offensive racist slur and consider that they ought to come up with something else?). Managed to get 4 kills before I went down in flames, as did a couple of others. It was the first time we’d played it in probably over a year, but it’s still a great game. I didn’t think much to the WW2 version, or to club fave Check Your Six!, in which games you spend far too much time manoeuvring around trying to get a shot in. Bleh. Too boring for my likes, I’m afraid, and too reminiscent of the Napoleonic Naval rules I played about 25 years ago in which we spent at least 3 hours trying to get into position before anyone managed to fire a shot. Which then missed.
Anyway, since this survey was been doing the rounds, I thought I’d put it up here too. It may be one of those “slow week” posts (as Markus opines), but at least it isn’t that Leibster award chain letter thing…
This is the extra long version, including the second set of questions and the additional questions that were posted to The Wargaming Site.
To genuinely call yourself a Wargamer, then you must have done most or all of the following;
* Spent at least £500 on figures / tanks – and you get extra kudos for every £500 you’ve spent
Easily. I’ve been wargaming for around 30 years now, and despite a few dry spells every now and then, especially after moving considerable distances (different continents, even), I’ve racked up quite a few pounds and dollars over the years. Recently I haven’t been spending as much, but I still get through a few hundred dollars each year.
* Pricked your finger or thumb on a pike block – several times
Many, many times. I really should move to bendy pikes sometime.
* Tried at least 10 different rule sets and vowed never to play half of them ever again
DBA, DBM, DBR, FoG Ancients, Renaissance and Napoleonic, To the Sound of the Guns, Johnny Reb, WRG 7th ed, Challenger. That’s 10 straight off the top of my head, and there are quite a few more where that load came from. Even if you count all the DB* variants and the FoG variants together, I can still easily come up with another 10 (Shock of Impact, Newbury Ancients, whatever those Napoleonic Naval rules were that I mentioned above, Black Powder, I Ain’t Been Shot Mum, Corps D’armee, Empire (any variety), La Feu Sacre, Cold War Commander…need I go on?). I could also add rules that I’ve played a lot in the past (WRG 6th especially, Napoleonic Principles of War, Fire and Fury) that I wouldn’t bother to play these days because of newer rules that have come out since then that I prefer.
* Bought an army off EBay
Nope, I buy my stuff from the manufacturers where possible, or from our local shop in the case of Fow and WoW.
* Sold an army on EBay
Again, nope. I still have my very first army (WRG 6th Vikings) back at home somewhere. I’ve given away figures, and sold some at Triples in the mid to late 80s at the bring and buy, but not on ebay.
* spent months painting an army – then used it in anger once
Yeah, pretty much. My CWC army has only been through a few games, though Anthony at the club is working on a new modern / cold war game for us to use our 3mm armies. I think a few of my 6mm Napoleonic armies have only been through one battle too, but that’s because I did several armies (for Nap Principles of War) at once just before I moved to the US, so they’re back home in England still too.
* tried several different periods and genres
Ancients, Medieval (Early and Late), Renaissance / ECW, 18th C, Napoleonic, ACW, WW1, WW2, modern.
* dropped a box of figures on the floor from a great height
Ouch. Yeah. 😦
* lost a battle on the last throw of the dice
Yeah, but won them on the last throw too. And anyway, as I’ve mentioned elsewhere, I’ve often had at least as much fun losing as I have winning.
* made at least one enemy for life
Don’t know about that one. There are a few people I won’t ever play again (too competitive so it isn’t fun playing them, makes shit up about stuff, and obliviously clueless to name but three individuals).
* had a proper, stand up argument over a wargamers table
I think the nearest I’ve come to this is when playing the first of the three I mention above – amongst other things, he claimed that I couldn’t fire out of the woods because I wasn’t right at the edge, then on his turn, tried to fire at my troops because “they’re right at the edge of the woods”. Dick.
* thrown a dice across a room
Not on purpose.
* rebased an army for a different rule set
Several times. Nowadays, I’m likely to either use the same basing if possible, or create a new army (probably in a different scale) for new rules.
* inflicted a whopping defeat on an opponent
I still feel for poor Michael. We can usually get a game of Lasalle in easily in an evening at the club. One week I managed to get two games in against Michael, because the first game saw him routed within about an hour, while I don’t think I lost a single unit. The second game lasted about as long, with similar results. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone as let down by the dice gods as badly as Michael was that night. It wasn’t his tactics – there was nothing wrong there – but against all laws of probabilities, I don’t think Michael managed a single 6 all night, and only got a few 4s and 5s. Lasalle isn’t usually a game where the dice and luck dominate, but on that night? Ouch.
* suffered an embarrassing defeat due to a stupid tactical decision
Many, many times. Often on a trial game to see how combat works, I’ll just send everything forward to get stuck in. It usually doesn’t pay off too well. Not that I haven’t done it with games that I’ve played a hundred times too, mind.
* joined a wargamers club
Several. Started witht he Rotherham Wargames Club back in the early 80s, currently in the Toronto Historical Miniature Gamers.
* bought a ton of lead that remains unpainted
At least a ton. In more than one continent too!
* been to a wargamers show
Not for quite a few years, but back when I lived in England, I used to attend Triples, Northern Militaire, SELWG, Salute, the Eastbourne one at the Redoubt, and probably a load of others that I’ve forgotten the names of.
* have more dice than is logical or necessary to own – and have used most of them
Yeah. Including several sets of D6.
* have taken boxes of troops down to a club just to show them off to your mates
Several times. Also to work on down at the club from time to time.
* You have reference books on each period / army you play
Mostly, though some periods / armies I have fairly extensive online sources for rather than physical books. As a historian, I also have quite a few books that are primarily for research rather than for wargaming, but which come in handy for the latter too.
* Having played so many different games you confidently quote rules for a totally different period, scale or ruleset to the one you’re playing at that moment
All the time. Especially for Lasalle and Maurice. Sometimes I’m even right too!
* You have lied to your partner / spouse about how much you’ve spent on the hobby
No, not really. My wife’s a knitter, so often one of us sees something nice (some really cool-looking yarn, the beautiful 10mm ACW sculpts available from Cracker Line) and encourages the other to splurge a little to give an excuse to get our own little present to ourselves.
* You get genuinely excited when a package arrives in the post – then hide it upstairs quickly before your partner sees it. If your partner finds it first, you lie about the contents.
I do get excited when I know some great figures or new rules are arriving, but I’m more apt to show them off that hide them. I’m sure Samantha is really, really interested too. She does complain that I never do my men on horsies in pink or whatever though. She also keeps asking me if there’s any wargame in which she can have llamas (no other troops, just llamas) so she could come and play with me at the club sometime.
* You have joined a re-enactment society (5 points for this one!)
No, a bit too close to LARPing for my liking. 😀
* You have played in an unsuitable venue.
Not really, other than at home, and having to gingerly step over units on the floor to get in and out.
* You continue to search for the perfect Napoleonic / WW2 / Ancients / ACW etc. rule set (knowing that it doesn’t actually exist).
Definitely. I’ve tried several ECW rules sets, but not settled on one (DBR is crap, Principles of War, Polemos and Forlorn Hope take too long, etc). It’s the same with ACW (F&F is good, but takes too long, and there are no army lists for pick up games), but that should be ameliorated by Longstreet next year.
* For that reason you have developed your own house rules for certain periods. And think them far superior to the original author’s efforts.
I’ve offered suggestions to Anthony for his Cold War game, if that counts, and came up with a house rule for Lasalle to give more variety for the endgame. I wouldn’t say the latter was superior to Sam’s own rules though.
* You have returned from a wargames show and sneaked upstairs to hide the stash.
No, as above, I like to show off what I’ve gotten.
* You have an irrational aversion to some genres and vow never to play them regardless of how much fun they look. Like Dystopian Wars, 6mm Napoleonics, Warhammer 40k, Malifaux etc.
Fantasy and SF. Just not interested, thanks.
* You have made your own wargames scenery.
Quite a few times. I need to go to Michael’s (craft store) sometime to get a load of matchsticks to make some snake and rail fences for Longstreet.
* You have reached a painting ‘wall’ (“If I have to paint another f________ Gaul, I’m going to scream”)
Oh yes. Some day I’ll get round to doing the second rank of my last three units of Austrians. That day is not today.
* You have lost – and regained – your wargaming mojo.
I’ve had wargaming droughts, especially after moving to Brighton from Rotherham, then from Brighton to Phoenix, and then from Phoenix to Toronto until I’ve found others and had the time to play again, but I’ve not really stopped playing because I haven’t wanted to play. I also haven’t had long losing streaks either, though I have had long winning streaks (my Lasalle Austrian Avant-Garde are still yet to lose a game).
* You have the occasional (and short lived) sense of guilt with your wife/children when complaining to them about the money spent in clothes, shoes or toys/Xbox games when you have £200 of unpainted metal stuffed in an upstairs drawer.
Nope. We don’t tend to spend much (which is good, since I don’t earn much), have none of the usual vices (drink, drugs, cigs etc) other than our hobbies and cheese, so even though we don’t have much money, we still live within our means fairly comfortably.
* You have done armies in different scales for the same period (e.g. ACW in 28mm, 15mm and 6mm).
Oh yes. I even have the same army in several scales.
* You have jealously coveted someone else’s troops.
Have you seen Markus’ painting?
* You have laughed (secretly or otherwise) as someone else’s paint job.
Yeah. There are some bad paint jobs out there. I’m also fully aware that several people could easily consider mine to be in that category too though.
* You have provided a piece of useless trivia relating to the troops on the table to show off your wargaming knowledge.
I’m a historian. I do this all the time.
* You have contradicted someone elses’ trivia – demonstrating your superior knowledge and giving you a warm glow inside.
Again, yes. One person in particular comes out with all sorts of crap, and often not just trivia either.
* You have caused a major disaster on a wargames table (spilling a pint, collapsing the table, dropped someone else’s figures on the floor).
No, managed to avoid that. Sturdy tables and keeping drinks off the table are the way to go.
* You have cheered when an opponent’s dice lets them down at a critical point.
Yes, but then I’ve also done the same when my dice let me down at the same point, or when my opponent’s dice save them at a critical time.
* You have lied to your partner about going gaming. “Mothers’ not very well – just popping around to see her. I’ll be back in about – oh – seven hours”.
No, not at all. I don’t hide the fact that I’m a wargamer from my loved ones.
* You have lied to an attractive woman (man) about your hobby.
Nope. I’ve not mentioned it from time to time, but then I also haven’t mentioned it to many other people. I have told attractive women that I’m a wargamer in the past too.
* You have made an opponent cry. It doesn’t count if they are under 8 years old though.
I think Michael might have cried after his two game Lasalle drubbing mentioned above, I think I may well have done so if it had been me.
* You have painted the same army in the same scale more than once.
Yep. Austrian Avant-Garde in 6mm and 15mm, Vikings in 15mm and 25mm, Normans in 15mm and 25mm (twice), and probably several others.
* You have reference books on armies you haven’t even got.
Yes. If I’m getting into a new period, I’ll look at stuff for several armies before I choose one (usually based on what figures are available or on something I find out as I’m looking through books and articles).
* You have bought figures for a period you have never and will never play – because they were cheap.
I do still have figures back in England that I never got around to painting or laying with, but one day I’m sure I will use them. Honest.
* You have inflicted grievous bodily harm on a dice that has let you down.
No, these things happen. I don’t get too upset about losing.
* You blog or have a web-page about your Wargaming activities
Well, duh.
* Your book collection is almost all war and wargames related
Not even close.
* You critique ‘war’ movies (especially Hollywood war movies) for historical accuracy (like the use of American tanks – Pershings I think – to represent German Panzers in the ‘Battle of the Bulge’.)
I critique most films about historical accuracy.
* You spend car / train journeys checking out the lie of the land – considering which way you would attack from and whether it would make good wargaming terrain.
A l’il bit.
* Sliced the end of your finger while prepping figures.
*winces* Yes. Gouging that nice bit of flesh between your thumb and index finger is my specialty though.
* Shaking a bottle of paint you used earlier but did not put the lid back on properly (the khaki, red and black stains on the carpet and walls around my painting desk are testament to this).
Yes. Not lately though.
* Knocked over a pot of paint while painting (and desperately trying to scrape it back into the pot)
Oh yes. Many times. I used to paint on a board on the floor, and managed to mop up spills before they hit the carpet, but that board could attest to how often I’d done that.
* Dropped a part while gluing it to never find it again (I’m sure there’s a gremlin hiding under my table)
I’ve usually managed to find them, but it has sometimes taken a while – several months, in fact.
* Dropped a figure / model while painting it – and breaking it.
Not breaking, but bending spears etc – lots of times.
* Dropped a figure when painting and lost it (this happens so much with my 6mm figures!)
Again, only temporarily – they’ll pop up some time or other within a few months.
* Spilled paint on the floor and blamed the kids / dog / ghost / Santa
Nope. If I fuck up, I take the blame.
* Claimed a ‘cocky dice’ when it shows a ‘1’ and happens to be touching a model or piece of scenery.
Nah. If I lose, I lose. I don’t mind as long as I’m having fun.
* Claimed your opponents dice to be cocky when it shows a ‘6’ – as it touched a crease of the cloth, rolled onto a piece of paper etc.
See above.
* Bought a dice tower – then gave up using it.
Never saw the point in them. Fetching dice that have rolled under the table / across the room is a legitimate source of exercise.
* Made your own dice tower (Oh yeah!)
Nah.
* Gone to move some figures and found some Macedonian Pike / British Napoleonics etc. stuck in the sleeve of your jumper
Heh. Yes. Do I get a bonus point if they’re not from the army I’m currently using?
* Put some polystyrene cement on insulation foam – just to see what it does
Who hasn’t?
* Glued your fingers together with Superglue
Pfft. that’s for amateurs. Professionals glue themselves to the superglue tube too. Real masters have a pack of superglue debonder, and manage to glue themselves to not only their own fingers and the superglue, but to the superglue debonder too. My how everyone else laughed as I wandered into the front office at work that day.
* Left a paint lid open overnight (“Noooooooooooooooo”)
Yeah. Dried paints can be good for dry-brushing sometimes though, and by adding a bit of water, they can come back to life sometimes.
* Filed or cut a bit of ‘flash’ off a figure only to find that it was supposed to be there
Heh, yeah. I think I’d gotten through quite a few 6mm figures for one army before I realised that the flash I was cutting off were supposed to be bayonets. It wasn’t my fault they were horribly cast though.
* Painted Gauls or other ‘colourful’ troops in football / sporting colours
I tend to just use a variety of colours for armies like that, but for a Maurice Imagi-Nation army, I did toy with basing them on Rotherham United’s kits over the years…
* Used noxious chemicals to strip paint off figures – without adhering to ANY of the safety guidelines
No, never bothered to strip paint off my own figures, and tend not to buy already painted figures.
* Dreamed of converting your lounge / dining room / garage / bedroom into a games room.
One day I’d like to have a wargaming room…
* Converted your lounge / dining room / garage / bedroom into a games room
Nope. Though I have taken over a room for a few hours from time to time.
* Bought paint at a show – and found you already had a full pot of the same paint when you got home
Yeah. Done that with figures too.
* Bought a tool especially for modelling – and never used it.
No, I think I’ve used all of them at some point.
So, there we go. I think I’ve proved my credentials.
Llamas = HoTT. Also, the thumb / forfinger thing.
HoTT is based on DBA though, and therefore arsebiscuits. Also, I wouldn’t give much for anyone’s chances if they tried to harm her llamas.